DOWN THE M60
THE CRAZED DRIVER RECITES A FREESTYLE EULOGY

HE WAS A WIFE BEATER
HE WORE A WIFE BEATER
HE HAD A BUILT-UP SHOE
HE WROTE HOMO EROTIC FICTION
HE CAME FROM A HIPPY COMMUNE GONE WRONG
HE CONJURED THE DEAD WHILE PLAYING THE ACCORDION
HE TURNED TO GOD AFTER A BAD ACID TRIP

WE ARE MADE OF THE EARTH AND WILL RETURN TO THE EARTH

THE DRIVER BEGINS MANICALLY UGLY CRYING
SKIDDING AND SWERVING
THE COFFIN LID RATTLES LOOSE
THE BACK DOORS FLING OPEN
THE LIFELESS CORPSE GETS FLUNG OUT ONTO THE SIDE OF THE M60

…LIKE A DISCARDED MCDONALDS WRAPPER

THE DRIVER PLOUGHS THE VEHICLE THROUGH THE CENTRAL RESERVATION
THE HEARSE PLUMMETS OVER THE SIDE OF THE CRASH BARRIER
AS IT HITS THE GROUND IT BURSTS INTO FLAMES

FROM DUST TO DUST

• THE MASCULINE CONFLICT
• MASTURBATION
• SHARING AND LIVING OUT FANTASIES
• ORAL SEX
• SEMEN
• ANAL SEX
• STARY-EYED OEDIPUS
• FETISHISM
• WATER SPORTS
• VOYEURS AND EXHIBITIONISTS
• WOMEN WITH WOMEN
• ANIMALS
• “SHE MADE ME DO IT!”
• SHARING THE WOMEN WITH ANOTHER MAN
• GROUPS

ALWAYS BE POLITE WHEN YOU CONTACT A STRANGER
ANY MONEY PAID IS FOR TIME AND COMPANIONSHIP ONLY
WHATEVER ELSE OCCURS IS THE PERSONAL CHOICE OF CONSENTING ADULTS
CONSENTING ADULTS
LAWS OF ATTRACTION
INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP
CUTE
WELL EDUCATED GIRL
FUCK
SLUT
NYMPH
I LOVE TO GIVE AND RECEIVE
CUM AND TRY ME OUT
KISSING
TEASING
INTIMACY
KIND
CARING
CONSIDERATE
I SWALLOW AS WELL
LET ME BE YOUR FANTASY
UNLOCK YOUR FANTASIES
MISCHIEVOUS FEMALE
COMFORTABLE WITH MOST SCENARIOS
LET ME KNOW IF THERE’S ANYTHING YOU’D LIKE TO TRY
DIRTY GIRL
GOOD GIRL
TROUBLE
KISS AND CUDDLE
THERE'S NOT MUCH I WON'T DO
THE ULTIMATE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE
CARING
POLITE
HORNY
SEXY
100% GENUINE
DOWN TO EARTH
WELL EDUCATED
ULTIMATE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I’M GOOD AT ROLE PLAY
ANY SCENARIO IS FINE
NO MATTER HOW NAUGHTY
DO YOU FIND SUBMISSIVE GIRLS ALLURING?
YOU WON’T LEAVE DISAPPOINTED
SIZE DUNT MATTER
I’M NOT FUSSY
I WILL PLEASE YOU IN EVERY WAY
YOUR PLEASURE IS MY PLEASURE
PLEASURE
YOUR FANTASIES AND DESIRES
JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU LIKE
I’M OPEN TO FUN AND GAMES
KISSING AND CUDDLING
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT
D’YA LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
ENTHUSIASTIC AND UNDERSTANDING
SMART
SWEET
SENSITIVE
EROTIC
EXPLICIT
OPEN MINDED
NAUGHTY BUT NICE
SAUCY WITH A SIDE ORDER OF PERVY
FEMALE COMPANIONSHIP
FIRST CLASS GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE
ONE 2 ONE
DISCREET
UP FOR ANYTHING
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
I’M A LOT OF FUN
WITHOUT EMOTION
OUR TIME TOGETHER
EVERYTHING YOU WANT AND MORE
WITHOUT COMPLICATIONS
YOUR PLEASURE IS MY PLEASURE
PLEASURE
REAL
HARDCORE
PLEASURE

ESCAPING MANSCAPING
YOUR MANSPLAINING
HOW MANY TIMES YOU TOLD ME YOUR MUM LIKED SIMPLY RED
RECREATING THE AMAZON OFF AMAZON
I’M FALLING INTO SHIT
THE CLUE LIES WITHIN THE MESSAGE ON YOUR SLOGAN T SHIRT

THERE WAS A FAMILY OF CHIMPS WHO RESIDED IN A CORRUGATED TIN SHACK
THE CHIMP FAMILY CONSISTED OF MOTHER AND FATHER CHIMP AND BABY CHIMP
FATHER CHIMP BELIEVES HE IS AT THE BECK AND CALL OF MOTHER AND BABY CHIMP
IT PERPETUATES HIS DRINKING HABIT
THE SOUND OF PUTRID PURGING BECKONED THROUGH THE TIN WALLS
A VOMIT STAIN PERMANENTLY AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS
MOTHER AND BABY CHIMP SPEND THE DAY TOGETHER ALONE
ALLOWING THE BABY TO GROW
MOTHER CHIMP AWAITED FATHER CHIMPS RETURN FROM WORK
FATHER CHIMP RETURNED
HE SCREAMED AT THE BABY
HE HATED THE CHILD
EMOTIONAL ABUSE ACTED AS A FORM OF PUNISHMENT
THE MOTHER CRIED
MOTHER AND FATHER CHIMP HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING TO SEE EYE TO EYE
COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THEM IS DIFFICULT
SHE TRIED TO LEAVE
BLOCKED ALL COMMUNICATION CHANNELS
FATHER CHIMP MANAGED TO STILL COME THRU
SHE WANTS IT TO WORK
SHES LOST ALL SELF-RESPECT
SHE PERFORMS AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE IN A BABY DOLL NIGHTIE
SHE BEGS FOR HIM TO TRY
SHES ON HER KNEES AGAIN
HE HITS HER REPEATEDLY
SHE LOVES IT

GABAA RECEPTOR

OPERATICALLY SINGING THE ABCS
CARVERIES WITH A MARRIED MAN
MC FLUBBER
PVC NURSE
BILL WITHERS LOVELY DAY
I AM WHAT I AM I AM MY OWN SPECIAL CREATION
3 7S
I NEED A MIRACLE
RE WRITING MEMORIES
FASHION WOMAN
SHITTING DOG
STOCKPORT
I WOULDN'T RATE HER OUT OF 10 FOR ANYTHING
YOU KNOW WHAT YEAH
YOU’RE A SAUSAGE YOU’RE BEEF
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A GOOD LOSER
ENLIGHTENING KETAMINE EXPERIENCE
LOADS OF SUBWAYS ROUND ‘ERE
A PUG CALLED SHARON
DRINKING A POT NOODLE WITH A HAND ON ONE HIP
WANTING TO BE REMEMBERED
TRY TO KEEP FROM GETTING HURT
RELATIONSHIPS - THE PERFORMANCE
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THROWING MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO
ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID
NOW I CARE
HOPELESSLY DEVOTED TO YOU
HEAVEN DJ SAMMY
YOU’RE FUCKED YOU’RE FUCKED
GOOGLE FUCKIN’ MAPS
EXCUSE ME LOVE WE ARE DOING A SURVEY ON ORANGE JUICE
DRIVE IN YOUR NORMAL CAR AS NORMAL
FACING AWAY
THE TRUTH IS I’M NOT GONNA LIE
SWEEPING THE CARD FACTORY FLOOR
JUST GET ON WITH YOUR RELIGION
NO ONE’S REALLY LOOKING
PLAY WHAM FOR THIS MAN
WHY DIDN’T YOU GIVE ME A SAUSAGE?
I LOVE CRAP
LIKE A LITTLE MAN IN A SWEET SHOP
BEING SERIOUS ON A MICRO SCOOTER
THAT WIG STINKS
SHREK 2 THE PRINTER
HOLDING A TESCO BAG OF CHICKEN LIKE A HAND BAG
WALKING ROUND WITH A LANYARD ON
NEEDIN' U
PLAY YOUR RECORDER MATE
LOOKING LOVINGLY BEHIND YOUR SHOULDER
NICELY FUCKED
THE BEST PLACE FOR US IS KFC
A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE THAT LIVE PURPLE HAIR
FRANTIC TYPO
EBOLA SUIT
MIRRORED WALLS
ATOMIC KITTEN - WHOLE AGAIN
STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW
DO YOU EVER PAINT YOUR NAILS?
WALKING THRU THE DRIVE THRU
SAT IN THE CAR WITH THE ALARM GOING OFF
IT’S SO GOOD FEEL
I FIT VERY EASILY INTO THE FEMALE ROLE
INHALING A VAPE
AMBIGUITY LEAVES ME FALLING
WHEN THE SONG ENDS
ONE LOVE MANCHESTER
PROPER
HIGH HEEL CALIPERS
TINDER DATE
I’M TELLING YOU MY DARLING MAN
STANDING IN BOOTS
CALIFORNIA DREAMING IN GREGGS
HAVE YOU HEARD OF ECSTASY?
IS NOTHING SACRED?

CARCINOGENIC CACOPHONY

WRITING DOWN THE DATE AS 1920
WE ARE ALL WOMEN HERE
WE ARE FULL OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
ASBESTOS AND BLEACH
DIPPING EXTENSION CABLES INTO BUCKETS OF WATER
SOMETHING’S MISSING
THEY’RE NOT HEATHENS
NO CARBS
LOW CARBS
YOUTUBE CHANNEL
YOU’RE THE MAN FRANK
YOU’LL JUST TAKE IT IN YOUR STRIDE
DECORATING THE CHRISTMAS TREE
IT’S WOMEN’S WORK
SEMI PROFESSIONAL
UN PROFESSIONAL
ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE I WAS MEDITATING
HAVING A PRAYER
I HAD TO THROW THEM OUT
QUALITY CONTROL
COME ON LET’S CONGA
PLAY THE POGUES AND I’LL TEXT CASH
PLAY WHAM AND I’LL TEXT CASH
SWAPPING MY GLASS SLIPPERS FOR GLASS CHEQUES
£200 IN A BISCUIT TIN
LINDA’S FARM LINDISFARNE
SEX ADDICTS AT THE SAME TIME AS SWING DANCE

TINSEL COATED
INTOXICATING
CHILDLIKE
DREAMLIKE
THE FLOOR ABOVE THE GIANT TURTLES
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A DANCE AND A SMILE NOW’S YOUR CHANCE
GET AWAY
EAT CRAP
DRINK
SMOKE
BAD WEATHER
BUILT ON THE IDEA PEOPLE LIKE PEOPLE
GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT
NEAR THE CITIES OF THE NORTH
PEOPLE WHO CALL THE MID-DAY MEAL DINNER NOT LUNCH
PEOPLE WHO ARE NEVER REALLY SURE ABOUT THE FUTURE AND HAVE LEARNT NOT TO CARE

MARIO PICATTO PLAYS; DRIVING INTO THE SUN SET WITH ONE HAND IN A LATEX GLOVE CLUTCHING THE STEERING WHEEL
DIDO - WHITE FLAG
WOMAN 2 WOMAN
IT’S NOT A WAR YET
LET’S MAKE IT ONE
STAY INSIDE
STAY ANGRY
THE INTERNET
FUCK YOUR NEIGHBOUR
YOUR DAD FINGERING A FRESH PATCH OF HIS OWN CUM
RUB YOUR SEMI AGAINST MY LEG
PISSING IN GRAVEYARDS
HOOVERS ON BLOW
SANITIZE MY THOUGHTS
STOPPING WATCHING PORN AND STARTING WATCHING ASMR
HAZMAT SUIT
LATEX GLOVE

I WANDERED INTO A TANTRIC BUDDHIST MEDITATION SEMINAR AND SAT DOWN TO MEDITATE. I WAS EXPECTING AN OLDER WOMAN WITH LONG GREY HAIR, A WHITE ROBE AND SPA MUSIC. INSTEAD IT WAS A YOUNG WOMAN AND WHAT LOOKED LIKE AN ARMANI BUSINESS SUIT AND STILETTO HEELS.

SHE PUT TECHNO MUSIC ON AND SHE SAID “LET’S MEDITATE” AND PUT ON HER SUNGLASSES. I CLOSED MY EYES TO MEDITATE AND HAD THIS INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE. EVERYTHING GOES WHITE AND THERE’S SO MUCH PEACE. I REALISED THIS IS WHAT I HAD BEEN SEARCHING FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE. I THOUGHT “I DON’T CARE WHO THIS WOMAN IS, I DON’T CARE WHAT SHE SAYS, I’M HOME.”